Married and unsettled!

It is going to be 3 years since Christi and me have been married. Wow! I really do not know where that time went by. It truly does feel like its only been a year since we were married. But then i guess that is what a great marriage is like - you never know where time went by because you thoroughly enjoy your time with your soul mate.

These thoughts running through the back of my head, i was driving to office today while a discussion ensued amongst my colleagues in the car. Everybody was telling 1 of the guys to consider getting married soon, especially as he was already 27. He on the other hand was defending himself saying he wanted time to pray and consider; also that he didn't understand why marriage was given such an onus in India. The others naturally were trying to talk him into it saying that it settles you down as a person. That got me wondering... am i truly settled?

My life as a bachelor needless to say was different. I used to be this hyper-active guy with a nervous energy,  running all around the place, eat a ton and never have anything to show for it, mostly impractical in my goals and objectives. But before marriage got its opportunity to change me (for the better), my health ensured it toned me down. A lot of who i am today and how i respond to everybody and everything is because of my health; and how it changed me to depend on Him more.

That being said, marriage did change me in its own way. It has made me more practical in my approach, more pragmatic in my plans and goals, lesser impulsive and made me understand that life is lived everyday and every little thing matters. However in my mind, i am still very unsettled.

I still have those reckless urges to do things without thinking them through. I still have those moments where i get so restless that i don't know how to spend my energies. I still need to give in to that wild side and make some impulsive decisions and act on them in order to keep my sanity going. I have to do things differently, sometimes just for the sake of doing it differently. I also have to rebel occasionally in order to feel alive; despite the fact that i am rebelling against the rules i have laid down for myself ;) Last but not least, i inevitably go through these times every once in a while where i stop and question myself with the fundamental question - what exactly am i doing with my life? Interestingly enough though, thinking about my lovely wife and l'il son automatically makes all of the above fade away :) That is about as far as marriage has managed to settle me down.

You can choose to call all of the above my idiosyncrasies, but I am trying hard to discipline myself and get my mind in order. Haven't been too successfully so far. I would love to be more settled down. I would love to have a schedule to work with each day and stick to it. Alas! I am way too undisciplined for that.

Lord help me to be disciplined and settle down!

What's with the fruit?

We had an interesting year. The seasons didn't come and go as scheduled (global warming perhaps?). Everybody complained about the elongated summer, the way too brief rain and the all too soon winter. And of course as the seasons setting in and out changed, so did the scheduled fruit for that season.

We waited for good watermelons until April, mangoes until June, good custard apples until October and we are still waiting for the good oranges to come in! Made me wonder about the fruit that we bear in our own lives - do we also delay the fruit we ought to be bearing in season and time? When i look back at my own life, the answer is yes.

The focus of our church for the past months has been the fruit of the Spirit. The Bible mentions the word fruit directly 240 times in different contexts. Where Paul talks about the fruit of the Spirit in Gal 5, it is understood that us producing these fruit in our lives, is the work of the Spirit and is only possible when we keep submitting more and more areas; problem areas especially for God to work in and transform. The whole concept of us decreasing and Him increasing. Therefore we then have the ability to not allow these fruit of the Spirit to manifest in our lives; primarily by allowing sin to continue to work in our lives by giving in to our weaknesses.

We need to keep in mind that we are dealing with a vicious predator (1 Pet 5:8). More important though is the fact that the red guy seems to have mastered the art of ensuring that we walk the path he wants us to; even if we are not prepared to sin directly.

The enemy and his minions know that a lot of us will not be prepared to accept to sin directly. So he uses subversion tactics; this is the most dangerous part of their plan. For those of us who have seen the movie Inception, he puts thoughts into your mind (eg: the prompting to look just once more at that pretty gal / handsome guy walking down the road and soak in that image), builds whole world's to keep you engaged (eg: keeps you engaged with thoughts of how poor you are, how you deserve better, how the world is being unfair to you, how could this person say that about you, etc.); while all the time he is making you tow his line and walk exactly the path he wants you to - the end result of it all is the same sin he would have you commit, had you given in to the 1st temptation directly! Their strategy is to plant the seeds and wait patiently to see them grow until your mind tricks you into accepting it, filling in the gaps with your sub-conscious weaknesses; by which time the seed grows into a tree which is waiting to bear fruit - the fruit of satan. We need to be wary to not fall into this trap!

The more we bear the fruit of satan (rotten fruit, not fit for anything); the more we delay bearing the fruit of the Spirit, thus delaying the fruit that should have been available at that season and time. But to what effect is this? It works directly toward the contraction of the Lord's Kingdom.

The fruit of the Spirit like any fruit are meant for the tree to become everything it was meant to be and do and for everybody else around the tree to enjoy of the fruit; which are borne in due season and time. Bearing the fruit of the Spirit of God is what enables us to live out our life to the fullest in Christ Jesus and these same fruit are what draw others to Him. So when we do not bear fruit in season, more people are robbed of Christ. That thought gives me the chills - that you and i are responsible for people missing out on Christ and the life in abundance that He has promised us; all because we chose not to bear the fruit of the Spirit. Why is the world still suffering? Because of us choosing to live our lives; yelling out 'It's my life'...

By how do we beings who even lack the strength and will to live our lives God's way, ever become the fruit bearing trees for our God? Most people never reach their full potential in life simply because they overlook the potential of the ordinary. If you simply start where you ARE, instead of waiting to start until you get to where you hope to be - you will become all He wanted you to be! Little by little. Step by step. Day by day.

May the Lord help us so that we might never cause Him to be asked the question - "What's with the fruit?"; because of the way we choose to live our lives.

Will you still praise Me if you lose your job?

It was February 7th, 2011. Life was as fine as can be. I was 6 months into the new job i had taken up with Veridian Computing as the Vice President of the company. During this period, i had gotten the Indian entity established, got the new office space constructed, hired people, gotten them trained, transitioned 3 processes to be working from the new office and gotten operations running smoothly for a period of 2 months. I was due to meet my boss that afternoon and discuss the plan for the next 6 months.

As i drove into the office driveway, i was prompted by the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, "Will you still praise me if you lose your job today?" I was taken aback to say the least; my immediate natural response was, "You will not do that to me." I however recovered and answered, "I will still praise you no matter what - job or no job." Having said that, i went back to thinking and planning for work to be done through the day; little knowing that my life would change in the course of the next 3 hours because of my answer.

3 hours later, my boss comes in from the US and comes to office. He asks me to join in for a light lunch. We reach Cafe Coffee Day and he asks me how things are going. I give him details. He then tells me that he's letting me go. Just like that! I didn't ask him why he was doing this because the answer was obvious - he had no further need for me there. His company was established, his operations running smoothly; all groundwork for the future in place. I almost went into a state of shock. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. He then asked me for all the details that needed to be handed over; and i handed over the same to him. An hour after that i leave from the office lying to the staff that my 6 month contract was over and i was leaving.

As i drove home that afternoon, i started to reel out of the shock. I was reminded again of the question that the Holy Spirit had posed to me just 5 hours before; also of my own answer. I knew then that this was going to be a trying time ahead. But surprisingly despite everything there was a strange sense of calm about what was going on, because i knew that He was in charge and orchestrating things forward. I reached home, broke the news to Christi and we prayed. Surprisingly, even she was calm about it. There was no sense of despair.

By the next day, the hurt started to kick in. I felt betrayed to stay the least. I had left a steady job at JMM to join this place. I had given it nothing short of my best, brought things up to where they stood and i was used and thrown away. I managed to keep it aside and decided to pray forgiveness over my boss who had done this. Again i was reminded of His question. I made a mental note that i would ensure to praise and thank Him daily that day onwards.

Christi and me ensured we started praying each day and thank Him. We also decided to take the next weeks off and just take a break. By the end of February i had given up my feeling of hurt and unforgiveness and was prepared for my next assignment. I started to apply out online and through contacts to other jobs. But somehow, i knew deep within that i would not find a job anytime soon. That he would keep us like this for a while.

Its now been 3 and 1/2 months since then. I have applied to 800 jobs. I didn't receive even a single job interview call. I have applied to every position from Team Leader to Senior Manager; but not one call! It had to be God. Then 2 weeks back i was doing my quiet time and i don't know why i felt led to pray seeking His will and submitting to even Him leading me back to work in a ministry place. I prayed the same, finished my quiet time and went on with my daily schedule of watching TV, flirting with my wife, playing computer games and sleeping.

4 hours later i received a call from an organisation called Seva Bharat. They are a mission organisation, primarily into Church Planting, Adult Literacy and Children's Ministry; working as the name suggests, in India. They have around 600 people working for them pan India, with 7 zonal offices. They were looking for a person to fill the position of the Director of IT and asked me to send my CV for the same. I reluctantly sent my CV to them; my mind full of apprehension. Prime reason being that i am wary of the way most Christian organisations work. There is very little degree of professionalism and mediocrity plagues them. Most even work slower than Government offices in India :-) Further, anybody who attempts to change anything there is not liked by most; this is of course not to mention the politics and gossip. Also it didn't make any sense to me why He would want to take me back to a ministry place after leading me out of one. Both Christi and me had been praying for a year before He confirmed to us and opened only 1 door for me to start working with Veridian. Why then will He want to take me back to a ministry organisation? It didn't make any sense.

These thoughts filled my mind and my skepticism rose even more when they called me and asked me to come in for an interview the next day. I was then reminded of what i felt led to pray that morning. I again submitted myself to His will and decided to go with the flow. But the questions continued to plague my mind - am i a failure in life? Why is it that i was unable to get as much as an interview call from the multitude of places i applied to? With these thoughts in mind and all my apprehensions about working in a ministry place again, i went in for the interview the next day.

Something amazing happened that day as i went through the interview process which lasted for well over 4 hours. He filled my heart and mind with a sense of peace. All my questions still remained; but i felt no more driving need to find answers to them immediately. I felt filled with His presence which made me want to blindly obey Him and just follow His will. With that, i submitted my case; knowing that this could only mean that i was in the center of His will for my life. The interview panel loved me and pretty much told that they would want me to take up the position.

After confirming about me from the references i provided and other sources they chose, Seva Bharat called me today morning and asked me to join them as the Director of IT. And even though the pay is much lesser than what i was earning earlier with Veridian, again there is a strange sense of peace and calm about it.

During the last 4 and 1/2 months since February, both Christi and me have had tough times to say the least. We don't know how we got through this time financially; every last bit of our savings is over. Emotionally, it was very draining at times to look at the way we were used and thrown away; but we chose to forgive, constantly. Spiritually, there were multiple times that we felt that He had left us and it became real Jesus' cry on the cross - my God, my God why has though forsaken me. Praising Him at such time, was difficult to say the least; but when we chose to do it, our spirits felt uplifted. Mentally, we should have been in despair and turmoil; but we were not somehow! We both somehow despite everything happening were prepared to just leave it upto Him to provide for us.

Thinking back, there was no way humanly speaking we would have survived it. But i am here to testify, that despite having no job; we lacked nothing! He continued to provide for us some way or the other - a stray website project here and there, some savings we put aside, people who owe us money returning it, etc. All in all, there was never a time that we had to borrow from anybody during this time. Praise the Lord! Today i can stand and tell anybody that the Lord provides what you need. And if He has allowed a crisis in your life, be sure He will give you more than you need to live through it (even luxuries); if you choose to submit to Him and depend on His grace, choosing to give Him glory and praise for who He is. We were able to get through this time only because of this. In fact, we lived quite luxuriously through all this times, lacking nothing; borrowing from nobody!

In fact a lot of good things have happened during this time:
> Christi and me have had a great 4 and 1/2 months of holiday time together; all expenses paid.
> Aarav and me have had a lovely time together everyday; we both can't do without it daily.
> Christi and me found the peace that passes all understanding that keeps us going even now.
> We know for sure that He is in charge and leading us.

Even today, the questions are all there. Also we are having to move out of the house we are staying in, because we can no longer afford the rent here; something we really did not want to do because of all the conveniences around. I am not sure how we will run this month also; but i can already see His miracles brewing :-) But again somehow, there is that strange sense of calm about everything. In 2 days we have found the perfect house that meets all our criteria and falls within our budget. We are excited to say the least. I know that my questions will not be answered for a long time probably; but for now i'm content with knowing that Christi and me are in the center of His will for our lives.

With that mindset we set off onto another part of our journey, with Him at the helm of our ship; excited for what lies ahead.

Thanks for reading through this post. If you have reached this point, thank you for your care and concern for us. But i just want to encourage you today - Where does your sense of security lie? What will you do if He chooses to take it away from you today? Will you still praise Him?

I HAVE A HOPE

2. I have a hope, serene and sure,
   That anchors past the veil;
   In all the storms it holds secure,
   Nor will it ever fail.
3. 
   
4. My hope is born of God’s own word,
5. And nourished by His grace;
6. His promise true my soul hath heard,
7. And hope beholds His face.
8. I have a hope that looks away
   From present woes and tears
   To heaven’s bright eternal day,
   Till sorrow disappears.
9. I have a hope that doth not fear
   The silent grave to view,
   Nay, doth not shrink though death appear,
   For I shall live anew.

THE MOMENT OF GRACE

When life stands still,

and dreams are memories afar,
when hope seems grim and
my strength is withered and worn.

i will run to Your hill,
i will walk Your path,

When fear waits to grip,
and worry hounds to sap,
when faith seems impossible,
and my soul wants to tap out

i will crawl to You,

i will wait for You,

i shall stand in praise,

in Your embrace.

CHORUS

For when all seems lost

and waste seems abound,

when my soul wants to praise,

but finds not words,

i find Your moment of grace

when all will turn and

day shall shine bright

and my soul will win over the night

BRIDGE

for in my weakness You are made known,

in my frail being, Your strength comes into its own

may i love You Lord now and forever,

may i stand for Jesus through it all.

Watching and Waiting at the Doorposts

“Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.  For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord.”  Proverbs 8:34-35 (KJV)

What a beautiful picture!   Imagine the scene of a dear soul watching and waiting for Jesus.  Standing inside the door of a lovely house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jesus, this dear one’s eyes are fixed.  If one were to ask “who’s coming?”  We would hear, “the Master is coming.”

We watch and wait for Jesus in so many ways.  When we lift up our prayers, we wait for His answer, refusing to take action until we hear from Him.  His Word promises that He is faithful to hear our prayers in 1 Peter 3:12.

“For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers:  but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.”

We can wait with assurance that an answer will come from Him.  He will not leave us hanging indefinitely.

Waiting is so hard!  We long for instant answers and quick fixes, but sometimes we must labor fervently as Epaphras did…

“Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.”  (Colossians 4:12)

If you’ve been praying for a lost loved one, don’t give up.  Hold on.  Pray fervently.  Watch and wait for our Lord to act.  Pray that this dear one’s heart will be softened, ready to receive from Him His precious gift of salvation.

In these times of uncertainty and trouble on every side, we watch and wait for our Lord’s return.  We carry on our day to day lives, but inside, there is expectancy.  Is it time yet?  When will He come?

Our bridegroom, our betrothed, will come for us in His time.  He has gone to prepare a place for us and will soon return.  We must be ready at a moment’s notice.

“…I go to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.”  John 14:2b-3

Many will come to lure us away, but we are to steadfastly remain at the door.  Enticements abound to distract us from our post, but they shall be found wanting, pale by comparison.  Nothing outshines Jesus.  No one is more worthy.  Nothing can pull us away.  We are prepared to wait as long as it takes, for He is life to us.

“Lead me in thy truth, and teach me:  for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.”  Psalm 25:5

Content and photo are copyright © 2011 by Linda Hull, Words of Encouragement

Do we celebrate of observe Gud Friday?

I was having a discussion with a dear one today who doesn't know Christ. She asked me if we will be observing Gud Friday tomorrow? My answer shocked and puzzled her; when i told her that we celebrate Gud Friday.

What's the difference you might ask. If you and i go to church on tomorrow without truly understanding what it is about, attend service and come back after meeting, greeting and eating; we have then successfully observed Gud Friday.

We, i believe are called to celebrate Gud Friday. Celebrate His death on the Cross that gave us life in turn. Yes it is a sad incident; but it was through that sacrifice we received life everlasting. Not just that, but through that sacrifice He made on the cross, you and i are able to live because He is in charge of our lives no matter what is happening. 'Coz of that sacrifice, we have a hope and a future; a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. We then have much more than we can ever ask for or imagine; for He will provide us all of our needs. Through that sacrifice on the cross, i have a direct audience with Holy God and am able to communicate with Him; as a child would his / her father. But most importantly, because of His sacrifice on the cross, He becomes if we allow Him the lover of our souls and our very best friend for life!

What more can we ask for? He is our best friend; and God is for us, who can stand against us? We will celebrate Gud Friday; the day when my dear Lord died for me on that cross; so that i will never know what my sin cost.

Have a blessed Gud Friday everyone.

Jobless and Loving It

I haven't been upto much work over the last 2 months. And so have had a lot of time to spend with family and friends. It is blessing to say the least to get this kind of time with the family.

Got me thinking, how come we get caught up in the trap where we seem to not find time for the things dat we love the most as we age and go on in life.

The Bible is very clear dat God was the one who created man in His image and initiated the 1st family unit (Gen 1,2). The family was specifically created for companionship, procreation and nurture; the very things d world today doesn't seem to be paying any attention to and even insists dat it is d order of the old world and therefore not applicable today. But it is very much in line with what the Bible instructs us to do - keep God first, family second and career last. Wish somebody would do a research to show just how successful dis model can be even today. Take for example the story of Mary Kay Cosmetics.

Anyways, i'm glad he has given me the time to realize i need to constantly realign myself with Him 1st in order to keep my family 2nd and my career last.

Just a few random moments spent with family during this time: Click for Pix.

'Coz He never asked why!

Come a tough time and our most natural human response is to ask why. Why Lord did you allow this to happen? Of why God are you doing this to me? Where this is our natural human tendency, there is one fundamental issue with asking why and 2 crucial problems to that approach of tackling issues.

Fundamental Issue With Asking Why
To start with, asking the question why to the Gud Ole' Man up there hasn't really helped anybody. Even in the bible as far my knowledge goes, there is not one single recorded account of God answering anybody who asked Him why He was doing certain things! Imagine that, Moses, David, the prophets and even Paul asked him why. His answer however was plainly always one of the these 3:
> My ways and higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
> My grace is sufficient for you.
> He gave no answer at all.

If you evaluate any of these answers, in my understanding he was sending us a clear message. I'm mysterious folks, live with it! :-) Essentially that means for us that He was not about to and therefore is not about to reveal to us why He allows a lot of things to happen the way do in our lives.

But going beyond that, lets keep in mind that if we are asking the question why it is primarily because we want things to happen in our lives according to the way we want them to happen. Period. This shows that we are least happy when things do not turn out the way we want them to; because human that we are, we tend to want everything around us to work what we perceive to be good for us. So where then did all the times where you prayed or sang have Your way disappear? Further, as Rick Warren so aptly puts it in his book the purpose driven life, life and everything around us was not made so that it would serve us and our purpose. It was made so as to serve God's purpose.

How then can we expect for things to work out the way we want them to always? How right then is it for us to be disappointed and angry with Him when things do not turn out the way we want them to? Finally is it right for us to question Him why?

Everything He does is for a purpose. In Him the whole earth has its being and He plans to prosper us and not to harm us; He plans to give us a bright hope and a future. 'Coz He never did give us a blueprint of our lives in advance; what we might consider sudden, he had planned all through. How right are we then to ask why? I don't think we are right in asking the question and living with the attitude that everything around us was created to serve us and make our lives happy.  That is just how selfish and small our viewpoint as humans is! This is the fundamental issue with asking the question why.

But there are further 2 crucial problems with asking the question why.
Firstly: It doesn't help us to tackle the issue at hand at all! Asking why can frustrate us more than helping us and moreover, it tends to bring us to a state of desperation where we allow our minds to get fuzzed up with the nonsensical lies of the red one and sense of hopelessness he wants us feel while we are low thus.


Secondly: The bible is very clear about how God is in charge of lives no matter what He seems to be allowing. While we go through trying times, He expects us to rely on Him in order to soar above the storm on wings of eagles. Our greatest example is definitely our Lord Jesus. He knew no sin, yet the sin of the entire world was put on His shoulders. He knows how we feel, because He has been here Himself and felt those same emotions. Yet, there is not one single recorded instance of Him asking the Father Why!

Even in His darkest hour, in the garden of Gethsemane his response was not why. Rather in the midst of that pain and turmoil, He submitted to the will of the Father. Should we not be following His example as Christians?

Further, lets think about this - when you sinned, did He ever ask you why? Or did He just embrace you in quiet acceptance, with open arms when chose to confess and return to Him? Finally did we ever stop to ask Him why He loves us so much and why He showers us with blessings, a lot more than we could ask for or imagine? If we didn't take the time to do that, we have no right to ask Him why when we perceive things to be going wrong!

God has never asked you why. How dare you and i ask Him why? Lets rather learn to ask Him WHAT He wants us to do during those times and HOW he wants us to do it!


May His continued grace be with us.