It was February 7th, 2011. Life was as fine as can be. I was 6 months into the new job i had taken up with Veridian Computing as the Vice President of the company. During this period, i had gotten the Indian entity established, got the new office space constructed, hired people, gotten them trained, transitioned 3 processes to be working from the new office and gotten operations running smoothly for a period of 2 months. I was due to meet my boss that afternoon and discuss the plan for the next 6 months.
As i drove into the office driveway, i was prompted by the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, "Will you still praise me if you lose your job today?" I was taken aback to say the least; my immediate natural response was, "You will not do that to me." I however recovered and answered, "I will still praise you no matter what - job or no job." Having said that, i went back to thinking and planning for work to be done through the day; little knowing that my life would change in the course of the next 3 hours because of my answer.
3 hours later, my boss comes in from the US and comes to office. He asks me to join in for a light lunch. We reach Cafe Coffee Day and he asks me how things are going. I give him details. He then tells me that he's letting me go. Just like that! I didn't ask him why he was doing this because the answer was obvious - he had no further need for me there. His company was established, his operations running smoothly; all groundwork for the future in place. I almost went into a state of shock. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. He then asked me for all the details that needed to be handed over; and i handed over the same to him. An hour after that i leave from the office lying to the staff that my 6 month contract was over and i was leaving.
As i drove home that afternoon, i started to reel out of the shock. I was reminded again of the question that the Holy Spirit had posed to me just 5 hours before; also of my own answer. I knew then that this was going to be a trying time ahead. But surprisingly despite everything there was a strange sense of calm about what was going on, because i knew that He was in charge and orchestrating things forward. I reached home, broke the news to Christi and we prayed. Surprisingly, even she was calm about it. There was no sense of despair.
By the next day, the hurt started to kick in. I felt betrayed to stay the least. I had left a steady job at JMM to join this place. I had given it nothing short of my best, brought things up to where they stood and i was used and thrown away. I managed to keep it aside and decided to pray forgiveness over my boss who had done this. Again i was reminded of His question. I made a mental note that i would ensure to praise and thank Him daily that day onwards.
Christi and me ensured we started praying each day and thank Him. We also decided to take the next weeks off and just take a break. By the end of February i had given up my feeling of hurt and unforgiveness and was prepared for my next assignment. I started to apply out online and through contacts to other jobs. But somehow, i knew deep within that i would not find a job anytime soon. That he would keep us like this for a while.
Its now been 3 and 1/2 months since then. I have applied to 800 jobs. I didn't receive even a single job interview call. I have applied to every position from Team Leader to Senior Manager; but not one call! It had to be God. Then 2 weeks back i was doing my quiet time and i don't know why i felt led to pray seeking His will and submitting to even Him leading me back to work in a ministry place. I prayed the same, finished my quiet time and went on with my daily schedule of watching TV, flirting with my wife, playing computer games and sleeping.
4 hours later i received a call from an organisation called Seva Bharat. They are a mission organisation, primarily into Church Planting, Adult Literacy and Children's Ministry; working as the name suggests, in India. They have around 600 people working for them pan India, with 7 zonal offices. They were looking for a person to fill the position of the Director of IT and asked me to send my CV for the same. I reluctantly sent my CV to them; my mind full of apprehension. Prime reason being that i am wary of the way most Christian organisations work. There is very little degree of professionalism and mediocrity plagues them. Most even work slower than Government offices in India :-) Further, anybody who attempts to change anything there is not liked by most; this is of course not to mention the politics and gossip. Also it didn't make any sense to me why He would want to take me back to a ministry place after leading me out of one. Both Christi and me had been praying for a year before He confirmed to us and opened only 1 door for me to start working with Veridian. Why then will He want to take me back to a ministry organisation? It didn't make any sense.
These thoughts filled my mind and my skepticism rose even more when they called me and asked me to come in for an interview the next day. I was then reminded of what i felt led to pray that morning. I again submitted myself to His will and decided to go with the flow. But the questions continued to plague my mind - am i a failure in life? Why is it that i was unable to get as much as an interview call from the multitude of places i applied to? With these thoughts in mind and all my apprehensions about working in a ministry place again, i went in for the interview the next day.
Something amazing happened that day as i went through the interview process which lasted for well over 4 hours. He filled my heart and mind with a sense of peace. All my questions still remained; but i felt no more driving need to find answers to them immediately. I felt filled with His presence which made me want to blindly obey Him and just follow His will. With that, i submitted my case; knowing that this could only mean that i was in the center of His will for my life. The interview panel loved me and pretty much told that they would want me to take up the position.
After confirming about me from the references i provided and other sources they chose, Seva Bharat called me today morning and asked me to join them as the Director of IT. And even though the pay is much lesser than what i was earning earlier with Veridian, again there is a strange sense of peace and calm about it.
During the last 4 and 1/2 months since February, both Christi and me have had tough times to say the least. We don't know how we got through this time financially; every last bit of our savings is over. Emotionally, it was very draining at times to look at the way we were used and thrown away; but we chose to forgive, constantly. Spiritually, there were multiple times that we felt that He had left us and it became real Jesus' cry on the cross - my God, my God why has though forsaken me. Praising Him at such time, was difficult to say the least; but when we chose to do it, our spirits felt uplifted. Mentally, we should have been in despair and turmoil; but we were not somehow! We both somehow despite everything happening were prepared to just leave it upto Him to provide for us.
Thinking back, there was no way humanly speaking we would have survived it. But i am here to testify, that despite having no job; we lacked nothing! He continued to provide for us some way or the other - a stray website project here and there, some savings we put aside, people who owe us money returning it, etc. All in all, there was never a time that we had to borrow from anybody during this time. Praise the Lord! Today i can stand and tell anybody that the Lord provides what you need. And if He has allowed a crisis in your life, be sure He will give you more than you need to live through it (even luxuries); if you choose to submit to Him and depend on His grace, choosing to give Him glory and praise for who He is. We were able to get through this time only because of this. In fact, we lived quite luxuriously through all this times, lacking nothing; borrowing from nobody!
In fact a lot of good things have happened during this time:
> Christi and me have had a great 4 and 1/2 months of holiday time together; all expenses paid.
> Aarav and me have had a lovely time together everyday; we both can't do without it daily.
> Christi and me found the peace that passes all understanding that keeps us going even now.
> We know for sure that He is in charge and leading us.
Even today, the questions are all there. Also we are having to move out of the house we are staying in, because we can no longer afford the rent here; something we really did not want to do because of all the conveniences around. I am not sure how we will run this month also; but i can already see His miracles brewing :-) But again somehow, there is that strange sense of calm about everything. In 2 days we have found the perfect house that meets all our criteria and falls within our budget. We are excited to say the least. I know that my questions will not be answered for a long time probably; but for now i'm content with knowing that Christi and me are in the center of His will for our lives.
With that mindset we set off onto another part of our journey, with Him at the helm of our ship; excited for what lies ahead.
Thanks for reading through this post. If you have reached this point, thank you for your care and concern for us. But i just want to encourage you today - Where does your sense of security lie? What will you do if He chooses to take it away from you today? Will you still praise Him?
As i drove into the office driveway, i was prompted by the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, "Will you still praise me if you lose your job today?" I was taken aback to say the least; my immediate natural response was, "You will not do that to me." I however recovered and answered, "I will still praise you no matter what - job or no job." Having said that, i went back to thinking and planning for work to be done through the day; little knowing that my life would change in the course of the next 3 hours because of my answer.
3 hours later, my boss comes in from the US and comes to office. He asks me to join in for a light lunch. We reach Cafe Coffee Day and he asks me how things are going. I give him details. He then tells me that he's letting me go. Just like that! I didn't ask him why he was doing this because the answer was obvious - he had no further need for me there. His company was established, his operations running smoothly; all groundwork for the future in place. I almost went into a state of shock. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. He then asked me for all the details that needed to be handed over; and i handed over the same to him. An hour after that i leave from the office lying to the staff that my 6 month contract was over and i was leaving.
As i drove home that afternoon, i started to reel out of the shock. I was reminded again of the question that the Holy Spirit had posed to me just 5 hours before; also of my own answer. I knew then that this was going to be a trying time ahead. But surprisingly despite everything there was a strange sense of calm about what was going on, because i knew that He was in charge and orchestrating things forward. I reached home, broke the news to Christi and we prayed. Surprisingly, even she was calm about it. There was no sense of despair.
By the next day, the hurt started to kick in. I felt betrayed to stay the least. I had left a steady job at JMM to join this place. I had given it nothing short of my best, brought things up to where they stood and i was used and thrown away. I managed to keep it aside and decided to pray forgiveness over my boss who had done this. Again i was reminded of His question. I made a mental note that i would ensure to praise and thank Him daily that day onwards.
Christi and me ensured we started praying each day and thank Him. We also decided to take the next weeks off and just take a break. By the end of February i had given up my feeling of hurt and unforgiveness and was prepared for my next assignment. I started to apply out online and through contacts to other jobs. But somehow, i knew deep within that i would not find a job anytime soon. That he would keep us like this for a while.
Its now been 3 and 1/2 months since then. I have applied to 800 jobs. I didn't receive even a single job interview call. I have applied to every position from Team Leader to Senior Manager; but not one call! It had to be God. Then 2 weeks back i was doing my quiet time and i don't know why i felt led to pray seeking His will and submitting to even Him leading me back to work in a ministry place. I prayed the same, finished my quiet time and went on with my daily schedule of watching TV, flirting with my wife, playing computer games and sleeping.
4 hours later i received a call from an organisation called Seva Bharat. They are a mission organisation, primarily into Church Planting, Adult Literacy and Children's Ministry; working as the name suggests, in India. They have around 600 people working for them pan India, with 7 zonal offices. They were looking for a person to fill the position of the Director of IT and asked me to send my CV for the same. I reluctantly sent my CV to them; my mind full of apprehension. Prime reason being that i am wary of the way most Christian organisations work. There is very little degree of professionalism and mediocrity plagues them. Most even work slower than Government offices in India :-) Further, anybody who attempts to change anything there is not liked by most; this is of course not to mention the politics and gossip. Also it didn't make any sense to me why He would want to take me back to a ministry place after leading me out of one. Both Christi and me had been praying for a year before He confirmed to us and opened only 1 door for me to start working with Veridian. Why then will He want to take me back to a ministry organisation? It didn't make any sense.
These thoughts filled my mind and my skepticism rose even more when they called me and asked me to come in for an interview the next day. I was then reminded of what i felt led to pray that morning. I again submitted myself to His will and decided to go with the flow. But the questions continued to plague my mind - am i a failure in life? Why is it that i was unable to get as much as an interview call from the multitude of places i applied to? With these thoughts in mind and all my apprehensions about working in a ministry place again, i went in for the interview the next day.
Something amazing happened that day as i went through the interview process which lasted for well over 4 hours. He filled my heart and mind with a sense of peace. All my questions still remained; but i felt no more driving need to find answers to them immediately. I felt filled with His presence which made me want to blindly obey Him and just follow His will. With that, i submitted my case; knowing that this could only mean that i was in the center of His will for my life. The interview panel loved me and pretty much told that they would want me to take up the position.
After confirming about me from the references i provided and other sources they chose, Seva Bharat called me today morning and asked me to join them as the Director of IT. And even though the pay is much lesser than what i was earning earlier with Veridian, again there is a strange sense of peace and calm about it.
During the last 4 and 1/2 months since February, both Christi and me have had tough times to say the least. We don't know how we got through this time financially; every last bit of our savings is over. Emotionally, it was very draining at times to look at the way we were used and thrown away; but we chose to forgive, constantly. Spiritually, there were multiple times that we felt that He had left us and it became real Jesus' cry on the cross - my God, my God why has though forsaken me. Praising Him at such time, was difficult to say the least; but when we chose to do it, our spirits felt uplifted. Mentally, we should have been in despair and turmoil; but we were not somehow! We both somehow despite everything happening were prepared to just leave it upto Him to provide for us.
Thinking back, there was no way humanly speaking we would have survived it. But i am here to testify, that despite having no job; we lacked nothing! He continued to provide for us some way or the other - a stray website project here and there, some savings we put aside, people who owe us money returning it, etc. All in all, there was never a time that we had to borrow from anybody during this time. Praise the Lord! Today i can stand and tell anybody that the Lord provides what you need. And if He has allowed a crisis in your life, be sure He will give you more than you need to live through it (even luxuries); if you choose to submit to Him and depend on His grace, choosing to give Him glory and praise for who He is. We were able to get through this time only because of this. In fact, we lived quite luxuriously through all this times, lacking nothing; borrowing from nobody!
In fact a lot of good things have happened during this time:
> Christi and me have had a great 4 and 1/2 months of holiday time together; all expenses paid.
> Aarav and me have had a lovely time together everyday; we both can't do without it daily.
> Christi and me found the peace that passes all understanding that keeps us going even now.
> We know for sure that He is in charge and leading us.
Even today, the questions are all there. Also we are having to move out of the house we are staying in, because we can no longer afford the rent here; something we really did not want to do because of all the conveniences around. I am not sure how we will run this month also; but i can already see His miracles brewing :-) But again somehow, there is that strange sense of calm about everything. In 2 days we have found the perfect house that meets all our criteria and falls within our budget. We are excited to say the least. I know that my questions will not be answered for a long time probably; but for now i'm content with knowing that Christi and me are in the center of His will for our lives.
With that mindset we set off onto another part of our journey, with Him at the helm of our ship; excited for what lies ahead.
Thanks for reading through this post. If you have reached this point, thank you for your care and concern for us. But i just want to encourage you today - Where does your sense of security lie? What will you do if He chooses to take it away from you today? Will you still praise Him?
