Discovering Nemo - Finding yourself - Pt. 1

Over the last 2 months, the Gud Ole' Man has been taking me through a journey of introspection - one that has not been the most comfortable, in that it is difficult the kind of truth's that surface and the kind of response's that should be aptly given. Also it is not the easiest thing in the world to be defaced before yourself each day, every moment. But during this process, He's also been inspiring me to write on the process in length. 

So as i introspect more about myself each day, i'll continue to write about the process and post it on my blog. Here goes:

------------------------------------------------

DISCOVERING NEMO

Who are you? I mean, behind the masks you wear, behind everything you stand for in front of the world – who are you? At face value you might choose to say, “What you see is what you get,” but is that the truth? Or are there ugly motives which make you shy away into the dark at times? Are there thoughts which you are not proud of? Are you the person the world sees? Better still, are you living in denial of who you are by masking yourself from the truth that you are?

A journey of self-discovery and introspection is never easy; more so when you are in a position of authority / leadership and people look up to you. But unless you take this painful journey, in order to root out all that you wish didn’t exist in you and incorporate all that you want there; large chances are some day you will be exposed either by you slipping up or somebody catching up and the scene then is not going to be pleasant.

It was during a trying time such as this that Oscar Wilde wrote in his letter De Profundis –

“I forgot that every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry aloud on the housetop. I ceased to be lord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it. I allowed pleasure to dominate me. I ended in horrible disgrace. There is only one thing for me now, absolute humility.”[1]

It is better for us to discover who we truly are and fix it while we still have the time. It is going to be a painful journey; but one worth the while. Painful because it ekes out at the foundations of your image of yourself, stripping you down of all your masks till you see yourself for who you are and not; and I can tell you the image more likely than not is going to be ugly. It becomes worse still because you are most vulnerable without all of those masks and armour which most of us would have put into place to protect ourselves from being hurt. The worst part of it all however is if you choose to put back on everything that has been realised and stripped away, because you feel naked; you are back to square one – living in denial of who you are. However, it is worth the while because when you see yourself as you are and not & choose to deal with things in your life that shouldn’t be there and also foster things that should be there, which are only being faked right now; you are truly then becoming the person you can be, want to be.

That my friends is victory over yourself; a purpose worth disciplining yourself for, the painful journey of discovery worth undertaking, for a life that would only then be truly well lived. Discovering Nemo is about finding yourself.

---

[1] Oscar Wilde, De Profundis and Other Writings (England: Clays Ltd, St Ives Plc., 1954; reprint, England: Clays Ltd, St Ives Plc., 1986), 152.

An ode to the most chaotic airport in India

When one is in the best of spirits, a sojourn through Kolkata airport can be amusing; not to mention while you are tired, it can be a harrowing experience.

Check out this video for instance:

As you can see, there are trolley's strewn all over, queues are never ending and booooooooooooooooy they are sloooooooooooooooow! Best part, no place to sit down :-) Oh, by the way, the noise in the background is not a problem with my phone speaker; that was the level of noise where i was standing and in most areas of the airport. I wonder sometimes if a train station is better ;-)

While i was standing in the queue to check in, it took over 35 minutes to process 5 people in front of me. Reason, every one of them had excess luggage; some standing even taller than the people whom it belonged to ;-) There were 2 guys helping load the luggage to the conveyor belt, and they were clearly having an argument about whether or not  they should move away the trolley's that were getting stacked up near the check in counter and blocking the way for people. The elder one was telling the younger that it wasn't their job :-) Finally an airlines guy comes and instructs them to move away the trolley's; and again a public argument ensues about why they should not be doing it, etc. During all this time, 3 passengers coolly walked past me to get to the counter without awaiting their turn, while the over anxious passenger behind me kept pushing his trolley into my feet.

Ok, get my boarding pass; and then stand in the line for security check. Not sure why it took so long, but well, i was in the line for over 45 minutes! Finally cleared security and went into the washroom and i tell you without exaggeration, it was STINKING! No water to flush after you pee and the place is dirty with spit marks all over.

I've had some of my worst experiences flying in the past while changing flights in Kolkata airport. So needless to say, i am not in the least impressed with it. But then it just keeps getting better. When you get into the bus from the gate to board the flight, you see heaps of garbage collected and kept in piles all along the walls.

What's most amusing though is the fact that nobody cares! A lady with a small baby comes lugging her luggage and finally reaches the check in counter after a long time; only to be told that they will not check her in for the next 1 hour. She protests saying that another airline rep asked her to check in; but the lady at the counter is going to have none of it. Atleast an offer of help to seat her till they start boarding?

I may be biased when i say this, but the proud Bengalis are a headstrong people who really don't care when it doesn't concern them - atleast that has been my experience so far with them during my brief times of staying over night to take connecting flights and merely passing by through the airport. My experience of trying to relating to Bengali colleagues i've worked with earlier has not been any better!

Coming back to the airport, i wonder what causes this sorry state? Is it the government or just the people and their underlying attitudes? If a city's airport and its atmosphere is anything to judge by, i would say it is a little bit of both.

Best part is, much smaller airports like Imphal and Dimapur which do not even have the luxury of buses to take you the flight, are much cleaner, operated better and the people are definitely nicer!

Its sad that an airport such as Kolkata which takes so much of international traffic will continue to operate in such a sorry state. In the middle of all the scams and corruption issues that have surfaced in politics, the media and anything we refer to as India, the question is who is going to take an initiative to truly change things?

Some parting pictures: