His ways are different...

The Gud Ole' Man has the knack of showing you afresh that He is in charge just when you start to question what path you should be taking / when you are confused about the right course of action.

Christi and me experienced the same yesterday. Like most couple's our age, we are beginning to want to secure our family's and especially our child's future. So we had applied for a home loan to pick up a plot of land close to the airport. We have always maintained a good credit history and financially He has brought us to a position where we are able pay the required EMI for the same. Thinking that it will be a good investment to keep for the future, we decided to go ahead and see where this went. Our prayer was simple all through - "If its Your will, help us get the loan; else we will know you didn't want us to move forward in this direction."

Post the application, the bank reps seemed very positive and almost certain that the loan will fall through without problems. 2 weeks went by and we were awaiting confirmation that the loan would fall through; also that we would then be proud owners of a plot of land :-) But then a thought struck me... What if He didn't want us to pick up this right now? What if it was not His will? More importantly, how would i react if the loan was rejected?

Yesterday evening, we received a call from the bank rep. Our application had been rejected on a really stupid reason - the company i work with is registered in India as a partnership firm in order to avoid a lot of legal hassles faced with starting as a private limited company in India. So despite our very good credit history and good financial health, the bank had rejected the loan on the stupid grounds of my company registrations! It came as a slight shock, but we quickly realized that it was clearly not His will; Even as we didn't feel the urge to try and apply some other place in order to get the loan.

As i was thinking about it today morning, i couldn't help but feel a l'il bad about the fact that the loan was rejected on really silly grounds. Also the immediate thing that comes up if they rejected a loan for the fact that my company is registered as a partnership firm, will christi and me ever be able to pick up a loan to buy a house / property of our own? The answer came immediately - the still same voice of the Sweet Holy Spirit, reminded me of the various times that we should never have gotten things given our circumstances, but we received them nonetheless!

The answer is simple. When the time comes that He wants to bless us with our own property / home, He will pull things into place for us no matter what the constraints :-) WOW! What an assurance that He has given us - we will never lack any good thing for He will provide all that we need (promised in Mt). With that assurance, we rest our case before Him and decided to continue to enjoy life one day at a time. For He truly is good and His provisions never fail us...

We are presently preparing to move to Somajiguda as its closer by my office. Also Christi and Aarav are going back to her parents place for the Christmas season.

A journey long...

This journey is definitely going to be a long one... You will keep seeing posts from it for a while.

So where does your solace lie? When you are down and out and want help... where do you find solace? Friends? Family? Mentor? God? I'm trying to map what various people would do?

Select your answer below and remember to be truthful - answer what you do mostly not what you wished you were doing. Where does your solace lie?

Who am i?

He seems to be taking me on a journey of self introspection; one which the more i travel into, the more i realize the ugly truth of who i am deep inside. It is not a pleasant sight to say the least when my image of myself is being deconstructed bit by bit. But i guess that is how the Father is dealing with me and helping me realize just who i am as opposed to whom i'm supposed to be and whom i want to be. From the most fleeting thoughts which i usually dismiss to those that make a nest on my mind to those that now possess parts of me; He is eeking them all out and showing them to me. The process is painful though to say the least; yet i know this is the only way! Interestingly though in the midst of all of this, my heart is constantly breaking out into a stream of words.

But as i walk these unfamiliar roads, the question that constantly stares back at me is - who am i? Who am i in truth? More importantly who am i that He had me on His mind while on that cross? And all at once, i feel loved and blessed, unworthy, happy, yet sad, wanting to do more only to realize the struggle moments later :-) Its amazing my friends to be loved so much by Him and yet so eeeeky to realize the many masks you bear even subconsciously to hide yourself from yourself.

So i try to discipline myself - yet again. I'm trying to learn to play the guitar, i'm getting into the discipline of spending time with His Word and in prayer no matter how busy my daily schedule and i'm giving up on my masks one by one - a task more easily said than done. But all in all i know He is at work like never before and i know that the end result depends on the choices that i make and the amount of His grace i choose to depend on and use to be what He wants me to be.

Let me ask you today - what masks are you wearing? In front of others, in front of yourself and in front of Him who loves your soul?